do you see me?

Do you ever feel so down and you don’t know why? Like something is physically stopping you from wanting to do anything? Or you feel so alone yet so full at the same time? Like something is just off but you don’t know what. I wonder why we feel like this sometimes. Two days ago I could be smiling all day and jumping up and down and then the next day I’m back to feeling like I’m stuck in a crowd of strangers bullying me. Do you ever feel bullied but no one is hurting you? Maybe it’s just me feeling this right now, but I thought it’d be nice to share this moment. A moment of confusion and somewhat appreciation for what I feel. I miss so many moments of the past and I’m afraid I stepped into a world I wasn’t prepared for. The only thing I can do now is just plan plan plan. I day dream all day to make myself believe I live in a fairytale. If it’s harming me I’m not sure, but it definitely does more good than bad. Daydreaming is sort of my escape. I picture so many things in my mind and I create such detailed moments that I swear I’ve experienced so many things. Am I preparing myself or am I just delusional? I’ll find out sooner or later. I guess the only thing I really want is to please everyone, and at the moment I don’t think anyone is pleased by me. I guess back to the starting block I go.

Here are some moments I wish I could go back to.