SENCATZ

As I lay in bed I start to wonder if it ever made sense. I wonder if I came to a conclusion years ago and chose to ignore it for my well-being. Everyone seems to think I am a good person, so I can only hope that it is true. I guess my frustration begins with not knowing why I was never enough. I think I have spent the majority of my life as a doormat. I wonder when that'll change.

Today felt like a walk in the park, until it hit me. I watched one of my favorite movies The Spectacular Now and it made me think. I felt like I was watching myself, truly. This movie embodies my exact character and it made me feel hurt. I can't believe I have let myself be hurt just like her. I wonder if my watching this movie today was purposeful. I was 13 when I watched this movie for the first time, and now at the age of 25, I feel exactly the same. What does that say abo

I haven't written in so long. What do you think my life has come to? I have a lot of stories to share, but I want to start with the most important one. As a 25 year old I think I am finally starting to see the other side. What is the other side you ask? Well, I think it is the reality I never decided to face as a child. Don't get me wrong, I am still the happy go lucky Carla, but I am more aware. I ask myself if that is a good or bad thing. It's okay, we don't have to answer