I can only wonder

I am back! I am currently at "work" and I started thinking of her. It made me so sad. Does she ever feel the emptiness I do? I really wish she is okay. I wish she doesn't feel alone. Why am I starting to feel more? Is it because I'm getting older? Everything seems so serious now, I can't seem to take a break. I am sitting here and I am thinking of the moments that felt like scripted scenes. I wish so badly that you are okay. I pray that God takes away any of the pain you have. I just want you to feel whole without us. Is that selfish to say? I don't really know, but I want more than ever to make you proud.